i'll keep my eyes fixed on the sun
by colorshow
Summary: Five times Lydia and Stiles plan their future and one time they make one.


a oneshot written for my friend Dani, i'm on tumblr at itsstilesbitches. i hope you enjoy this and the new episode of teen wolf tonight!

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1.

Lydia listens to the silent lull of crickets in the air as she curls up on the other side of Stiles' Jeep. The two of them are on one of their infamous stake outs that the pack always seems to send them on.

The two of them sit in silence, not an uncomfortable one, just a silent one. But still it makes Lydia squirm, Stiles has been rather subdued lately, not that she cares. Not a lot anyways. But still it puts her on edge, because right now he should be blasting the Beatles from the radio and trying to make Lydia sing along with him.

Although Lydia knows a lot of things she's never been particularly in tune to people, but somehow she's always known Stiles. They're a lot alike, more so than she'd ever like to admit. Maybe she's never been good at helping people, but if she knows how to help Stiles than at least she should try.

"What's wrong?" Lydia murmurs quietly, wrapping her cardigan around herself.

Stiles shrugs "What makes you think something is wrong?" he asks. Sighing she turns to face him "I know you Stiles, and you have been acting like whatever this is for a while now."

After waiting a minute for him to say something she loses patience. "You can tell me you know whatever it is can stay between us right now, right here." Lydia tries, seeing the stiffness in Stiles' shoulders beginning to soften.

His long fingers click anxiously against the steering wheel as he turns to her "Do you ever wish you could leave Beacon Hills?" he says softly. Lydia shrugs, "What makes you say that?"

A small part of her cares about his answer, is it so crazy that she cares for once?

Closing his eyes he leans his head against the steering wheel, if things didn't seem so serious she might laugh. "My dad might lose his job and all this crazy shit is going on and I'm afraid I might lose my mind!" he exclaims "It's just that I wonder every day if I'm going to lose someone I care about. I don't want to lose anyone." His voice is soft, childlike, when she looks at him she think she might melt. Sometimes Stiles seems so helpless that she forgets he's not; he's strong, stronger than most people she's met.

Subconsciously she scoots a little closer to him "No, we won't lose anyone, ok? Me and you we'll keep everyone together and one day you can leave Beacon Hills and have the life you want Stiles, you have your whole life ahead of you and it's always going to be there." She says confidently, reaching up to wipe a tear from his cheek. "It's going to be ok."

He nods, his eyes meeting hers, for a minute she thinks he might kiss her but they both know it isn't the time.

Will there ever be a time for them?

His voice interrupts her thoughts "Is it silly that I want that perfect life? I want to go to college, not sure what I want to do yet but I've been thinking about working to solve crimes, maybe Pathology even? I mean I've seen a lot of dead bodies already." Stiles jokes. It makes Lydia smile.

Licking his lips he continues "I want the family, love, even the dog. I want happiness, but I know I won't get it in Beacon Hills."

It's a solemn thought but she knows it's true. When high school ends she knows she won't stay in Beacon Hills either.

"What do you want Lydia?" Stiles asks, his eyes focused on her to a point it makes her flustered.

What does she want? "Like you said college" she begins slowly "Like I've told you I'm going to win the fields medal, maybe travel, and be happy. I don't have any plans really; I don't think I'll ever have that perfect life."

Stiles takes her hand in his "That perfect life, it's stupid, but it's something I'll never get which makes me want it a hell of a lot more."

Something changes between them that night, and Lydia thinks it might be that they're falling in love.

2.

Stiles is surprisingly good in bed. Not that she should've though otherwise, she'd never come as fast as she had for Stiles when he'd got her off with his long talented fingers.

The Tuesday last week that she'd taken his virginity had been a big deal for him, which she knew. After all they'd only been dating about a month. Plus she knew that he'd been nervous, after all he was the virgin, not her.

But in her opinion that had always been a stupid stereotype in society, if anything it made her feel more confident taking Stiles' virginity.

Before she'd never enjoyed after the sex, with Jackson it'd always been sweet but short, with Aiden she'd always been dismissive, partially to keep him on his toes. But with Stiles she like it. she likes lazily draws patterns on his chest like she is now. How he runs his hands through her hair, and whispers sweet words that are utterly pointless and completely Stiles.

It isn't until today she hears him voice the fears she knows he's always had.

"Is this going to last?"

Lydia doesn't even have to think before she responds "Yes, why wouldn't it?"

Running his hands down her back until she squirms he flips her unto her back, his body above hers. He presses kisses to her neck causing her to shriek. "Good" Stiles murmurs "Because I have it all planned out."

"Hmmm, and how exactly does this plan work?" she murmurs breathlessly as his kisses trail lower as he latches his mouth unto her breath, causing her to moan.

Moving his kisses down to her stomach he looks up at her "Well, first we're going to both graduate and get into Ivy League colleges." Stiles says, causing Lydia to shiver as he trails down his kisses to her thigh.

Her eye lids are fluttering and she can barely focus on what he's saying "we're going to fight, and fuck, and one day you'll fall in love with me."

His mouth finally reaches the place she wants and she whines when he removes his mouth from her clit to continue talking. "Then we'll travel and do whatever you want, maybe we'll get married have kids."

Lydia can't take it anymore and she exclaims "that sounds lovely and I want that all but right now I need your mouth on me."

Stiles eagerly complies and she comes a minute later boneless as he lays beside her, wiping her juices from his chin.

"And then we'll live our happy ever after." He offers, giving her a kiss and making her giggle.

Allison once told her what it was like to have this breathless happy feeling, and get butterflies when you see the boy who makes you feel this way. She had no idea what that meant then.

She knows now.

3.

It's unbearably hot outside the day they graduate. She wears a short whited dress that compliments the red of her graduation gown.

In two months she will be going to MIT.

Lydia feels arms wind around her stomach and warm lips on her neck whisper "So what do you say we get out of here?" Stiles asks.

Turning around Lydia raises an eyebrow at him "Where do you propose we go?" she questions, causing an eager grin to form on Stiles face.

"Disneyland"

"You can't be serious."

"Oh but I am." Stiles says, to which Lydia looks unamused. "Come on it'll be like one last hurrah to our childhood until we leave for Massachusetts!"

Still she remains unswayed, "Allison and Scott are coming too, your wonderful boyfriends planned it special for you guys!" he offers desperately.

The idea does make her smile a little, besides she's always liked riding in the teacups.

"Fine" she agrees "but you're taking me to get ice cream first, It's too hot."

Stiles nods "I do love ice cream." Lydia gives him a mock angry look "But we're doing this for me aren't we?"

He chuckles "Good thing I love you more than I'll ever love ice cream. It'll be a lot colder in Massachusetts than it is here, you're cute little ass might even have to wear tights." Stiles jokes.

Lydia rolls her eyes "Oh please, I know you can't wait to leave, Mr. Harvard."

"Well, we are sharing an apartment which means we get plenty of alone time."

"I know, that also means we'll have to share a bathroom, which I'm not excited for."

Stiles just laughs, and she lets herself be happy. She lets herself love him because what else is she supposed to do?

4.

They are both in the end of their third year of college when they get into their first major fight. Of course they've fought before, but most of the time Stiles lets her have her way because he's always been the peace keeper.

But she's screaming at him because he's considering moving back to fucking Beacon Hills just to help Scott. He's thinking about settling for working at the police station when she knows how much he's enjoyed his pathology studies. Stiles' was supposed to go to medical school while she was in graduate school and then they were going to get a house and maybe get married.

He's putting a fucking wrench in everything. Lydia fucking rearranged her plans for him. He made her fucking fall in love with him, it wasn't okay.

And right now he probably thought she was overreacting and heading back to Beacon Hills. Lydia knows it was hard for him to leave Scott behind, to choose her over his best friend.

Maybe she's being selfish but that's all she's known, and is it so bad that she wants him to stay with her?

After all they've lived together and been in a relationship this long and that has to mean something, it'd take a lot to convince her otherwise. As Allison had told her many times over the phone her and Scott didn't work out because of the long distance.

Also Lydia loves MIT, and she isn't going to become a biomedical engineer by going to community college.

She feels frozen in her place curled up on their bed; it's been two hours since he left. Slowly she gets up, putting on Stiles' boxers and one of his plaid shirts and curling up with a book and some hot cocoa.

Still, all she wants to do is cry. She never thought she'd end up with Stiles, and here she is crying over him because he fucking left her.

Lydia's eyes glance over to her phone; she hasn't received a text a call, nothing from him.

When she was younger she always thought that the guy had to be the one to call first, but maybe it's time to make the first move, after all Stiles is usually the one who always does.

She shakily takes the phone in her hands, she waits for him to pick up but all she hears is the tone.

"Stiles" she says, trying to make it sound like she isn't about to break, but failing miserably "I love you and you need to come home. I need you and you can't leave me, ok? I fucking love you more than anything else and we were supposed to have a future forever. And I know you love Scott too and I understand that. But I'm selfish and I need you. I need us. So come home Stiles. You're my home and I need it back."

The phone cuts her off there. Now she can only wait, because he needs to come home.

There's a knock on the door and she quickly rushes to it, peeking through the hole in the door.

It's Stiles.

Lydia quickly opens it, smiling through her tears when she sees Stiles clutching the phone to his ear, the tears streaming down his face.

"I never would've left Lydia. I've been here the whole time. And I'm not going anywhere." He says solemnly, still making no move to embrace her.

Scowling she pulls him to her, burying her face in his neck as she mumbles "Don't make me think you've left again."

Stiles presses a kiss to her forehead "I won't."

5.

Their marriage was a spur of the moment event. They both had reached thirty the past year and were both in stable jobs and had gone on a vacation to Paris.

Lydia spotted the cute chapel down the street from their hotel and she knew that it was it. That was where they would get married.

Not much had changed about their relationship in the past few years, although Stiles had gotten glasses and had started to dress nice, a shocking thing, even though all he did was work in a lab.

She liked his glasses a lot.

This was her image of being a grown up when she was younger. Feeling powerful, loving her job, her now husband, and having money. Maybe it was shallow, but she always had been selfish, so that was nothing new. Plus, being able to afford vacations like this one was nice. Even though Stiles had desperately been trying to pay off his student loans, even though he loved Harvard it wasn't cheap, and medical school was even more expensive.

Maybe it was because she felt on cloud nine that day or maybe it was the so called 'city of love' but Lydia had pointed her finger at the chapel down the street and declared that they should get married there.

Stiles had looked absolutely shocked "Um, Lyds, are you sure? First off my dad would kill me if I got married without him being there, and isn't it a little sudden?"

Rolling her eyes she pulled him along "Well, it's romantic, so let's get married." She declared adamantly.

Stiles groans "But shouldn't I buy you a ring first?"

"We'll pick them out after."

"We aren't dressed to get married!"

"I always look gorgeous, be careful I could take that as an insult."

"My dad's gonna kill me"

"Come one Stiles, I love you and you love me." She states, spinning around to give him a kiss.

He sighs "Fine, it's no fun to argue with you anyways."

1.

The day they adopt little Elaine Stilinski is one of the happiest days of Lydia's life. Her hair is a deep brown and she has green eyes, she's perfect.

Lydia had known that Stiles had wanted children, something she had never been quite as sure about as he had. The idea of adopting had appealed to her though.

Their little girl was perfect, even if she didn't come from her Lydia would be a good mother. If she can be exceptional in everything else she can certainly be an exceptional mother.

And Stiles, he was made to be a Dad.

"She's perfect." Stiles whispers from behind her where she stands rocking Elaine in her arms in her nursery.

"Yes, she is."

Maybe her life wasn't how she imagined it to be, but to her it was perfect.


End file.
